Raising confidence, a fair few smiles and some much-needed cash

I’ve been itching to write a blog post every night for this past week, but just haven’t had the time. And now that I’ve found the time, there’s too much to include in one post! So, I’m not even going to attempt to cram it all in. Here are just a couple of highlights:

Last Wednesday one of my friends from choir, Paul McKeever, came into the hospice to play guitar with a patient. This particular patient’s been both an in-patient and Day Care attendee for several years. He’s found, in recent years, that learning how to play the guitar helps to take his mind off other things but he’s really lacking in confidence. So, I figured he’d enjoy having someone with a bit of patience, a big friendly smile and a mutual love of guitar-playing to come in to the hospice and ‘jam’ with him – and Paul was absolutely perfect for the job! The staff said to me later that they’d never seen the patient so ‘energised’ and animated. A little bit of music and a big heart goes a long way. Thank you Paul!

Paul making a patient's day

Last Friday, at last, was the night of the Strathcarron fundraising event I’ve been organising and I’m delighted to report that 'Music from the Heart for Strathcarron' was a resounding success! The evening was all about raising awareness, raising cash, raising a smile and raising the roof! 

Raising Awareness:  This is the wee video that I used to kick off the evening. Annie, my incredibly talented Choir leader, sat under the projector screen and played piano while the video rolled above her. She was simply awesome, and a fair few tears were shed through the smiles in the hall:

Raising Cash: I’d hoped to raise around £2000 for the hospice, but I’d been a bit wary about setting myself a target; just in case I was disappointed! However, I needn’t have worried as the final total came to over £3000! I was absolutely delighted, and I’m extremely grateful to everyone who contributed; either by giving up their free time to perform, or by buying a raffle ticket, or by coming along on the night, or by taking part in the tombola, or by giving me moral support and encouragement or...ocht, there are too many things to mention (let alone thanking all the individual people who helped out!) I just feel very lucky and very privileged to have had the overwhelming support that I had.

Raising a Smile: 130 people bought tickets and came along to The Golden Lion Hotel, so the hall was practically full. I was so moved by some of their lovely, warm comments and I was delighted that they all seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. I saw loads of smiles on Friday night, but mine was probably the biggest.

Raising the Roof!  A whole host of fantastic musicians and singers helped to do just that. First, we had superb buskers - Paul and Drew - at the entrance to the hotel as guests were arriving (the very same Paul who came into the hospice last week – thank you Paul!) Then, there was Cara and Eoin, entertaining the guests as they arrived in the ballroom with their beautiful folk music. Then there was Annie playing piano to accompany the video. Gorgeous. Then Annie moved her piano to the other side of the hall in preparation for the Heart of Scotland Choir. Aw man, I can’t tell you how much I loved singing with the choir at my own fundraising event. I was so chuffed that so many members came along to support the night and it’ll go down as one of my very favourite choir gigs. Here’s my son Gordon doing his thing:

There was the small matter of me singing my first solo part too (I don’t think I’ve felt that nervous since I sat my driving test...), which made the whole thing even more memorable for me personally. Following on from the choir came Gordon’s band ‘A Turtle Called Shelly’. They were fantastic! I felt quite guilty as I’d not expected them to be quite so good! I think it was when Gordon told me that his pal Martin would be playing the melodica that the doubts started to seep in! I was actually immensely proud of all three of my kids on Friday night. They all helped me in so many different ways, both during the event and during the weeks leading up to it. Ross was the perfect host, chatting to folk as they tried their hand at the tombola (pick out ‘The Beatles’ or ‘Queen’ and you win a prize, pick out ‘Justin Bieber’ and you win nothing!). And Gemma, well, her turning up completely unexpectedly to surprise me (she had a Uni exam the next day and we’d agreed that her studies had to come first..) was one of the many highlights of my night. As for Alex, well, I simply wouldn’t have been able to do it all without him. I’m so very lucky.

Completing the live music line-up was the fabulous GT’s Boos Band. Their front man and absolutely brilliant vocalist Greig is a popular member of our choir and, together with John Boos (the amazing guitarist who came in and played for a patient not long after I’d started my placement), Iain Donald (an AMAZING bass player) and the talented Simon Pooley (better known as Cymbal Simon) on drums, they produce a sound that is '100% Bona Fide Rock and Roll!'

A couple of my friends from choir, Paula and Carrie, also joined the Boos Band as guests to sing a few more fantastic songs - and that was the line-up complete. It was such an honour to have so many super-talented musicians and singers perform at my fundraiser for Strathcarron - there certainly was no shortage of Music performed straight from the Heart!

So, the night was a resounding success, and I've now got some free time back on my hands. Hmm, let's think now.......

School kids and film-makers

The hospice placement is about so much more than just the music, and yesterday provided another great example of that. I had arranged for a group of school pupils to come along, this time from Wallace High School in Stirling, to perform for the Day Care patients. And they were just brilliant!

Lewis, Ruth, Anna (the teacher!), Louise and Samira

Not only were they brilliant on their respective instruments – the xylophone, guitar, piano and oboe – but they, and their lovely teacher, were also brilliant with the patients. After they’d finished performing, they wandered around the room, chatting to the patients and playing some more tunes – but this time on a much more personal level. I think the patients – and staff – enjoyed the chit-chat just as much as they enjoyed the music. And the pupils certainly seemed to think it was a great way to spend a Wednesday afternoon! I think these wee photos kind of sum it up:



Louise and a happy chat!



Lewis and a happy hug!

The hospice has the services of an Arts Council funded ‘Film-maker in Residence’ at the moment and Amy Hardie and her team happened to be filming in Day Care yesterday. There are several aspects to Amy’s remit at the hospice. One is to make a documentary about Strathcarron, but another is to facilitate more personal film-making. I think one of the most valuable skills that Amy has to offer is in teaching people – either patients or family members – how best to use a camera to create something that could become a really important keepsake in the years ahead. Bearing in mind that many of Strathcarron’s patients are cared for in the community, and that many of the patients do go home after a short spell in the hospice, the film-making project can have far-reaching benefits, especially for some of the patients’ children. Anyway, I’m digressing! On with yesterday’s story, when Amy and her team were filming footage, I think, for the documentary.

Now, as regular readers will know, my film-making skills are limited; a wee video taken using my phone is about as professional as it gets on this blog! I had a nerve-wracking time at the hospice recently when, in Amy’s absence, I was asked to film a wedding – but that’s something I’d like to write about another time. I only mention it to preface the fact that I’m definitely no professional when it comes to filming! So, it was an interesting experience to watch the professionals at work yesterday. Although I didn’t take my phone out to record the pupils while they were performing (I’m hoping to blag some snippets of that from Amy!), I did want to capture some of the special wee moments that followed their ‘official’ performance. So, sitting opposite 12 year old Lewis as he entertained some of the men in the hospice with his banter and oboe playing, I hit the ‘record’ button to capture the moment. However, as this little bit of footage shows, it seems that amateur capturing of moments don’t count in the professionals books! It was all great fun, and really added to the pupils’ experience – showing yet another wee group of youngsters that their local hospice is very much a bright and cheery place and, more importantly, full of bright and cheery people.

Rewarding and feel-good moments

I was full of good intentions of publishing a post on this blog every week during my placement at Strathcarron. Oops.

Being busy is my only excuse and I’m delighted to report that things are still going really well; music is definitely making a difference! Here’s just one of many examples: A patient’s partner said to me last week, “As I was walking towards the room, I thought I could hear singing. ‘He must have his music on’, I thought. As I got closer, I realised that he did indeed have his music on; playing through the wee speaker you gave him. But that wasn’t the only thing I could hear. It was him. Singing. I’ve not heard him sing for such a long time. I can’t even begin to tell you how good it made me feel.”
It was another example of the far-reaching benefits that go hand-in-hand with making music part of the patients’ lives in the hospice; this particular patient had really enjoyed spending time making up their playlist and chatting with me about some of the music that’s meaningful to them. But his partner had also benefitted by taking some comfort from the fact that her loved-one’s spirits had been lifted enough to sing along to those favourite songs. It might sound like a simple thing, but it was one of many such rewarding moments.

The fifteen hours per week I’m allocated for my placement simply isn’t enough to fit everything in, so I’m doing all of the fundraising part of the project in my own time. It’s now less than two weeks till my ‘Music from the Heart for Strathcarron’ fundraising night and I’m really enjoying pulling it all together. If I’m totally honest though, I’m getting quite nervous about it too; what if something goes wrong on the night, what if people don’t turn up, what if the people that do turn up don’t enjoy themselves etc etc! However, as soon as I start to think like that, I give myself a good shake and go write another begging letter for a raffle prize, or post another request on Facebook for friends to please buy tickets for the night! And, while I’m doing that, I remind myself that if it all went wrong, it would certainly be disappointing but, in comparison to the challenges that face the lovely patients that I have the absolute privilege of getting to know at the hospice, it really wouldn’t be that big a deal.

I’m obviously extremely hopeful that nothing will go wrong and that it’ll be a great night! I’m chuffed to bits that so many fantastic singers and musicians are giving up their Friday evening to come and perform; some of my friends are going to ‘busk’ for the guests as they arrive at the hotel, one of my choir friends and her partner are going to provide the background music as the guests arrive in the function suite and my choir leader – who’s also an incredibly talented pianist – is going to play a lovely classical piece while a short DVD (which I’ve yet to put together – eek!) introduces the guests to the hospice and the project. The evening’s proceedings will then really get going when the fantastic Heart of Scotland Choir take to the (very small!) stage at 8pm. Here's a wee sample of what's in store:



Following on from the choir, I’m giving a young, new band the opportunity to play for a little while (and it just so happens that my son’s the lead singer..!) and then the ‘headline’ act will take over proceedings for the rest of the evening. GT’s Boos Band has an ever-growing fan base in Scotland and I’m delighted that they’re providing most of the music for my night (with the added bonus of a few special guests). Here’s another wee taste of what’s in store:



In amongst all of that, a buffet will be laid out and a raffle will be drawn. I’m so grateful to the local businesses and friends who’ve donated prizes – from bottles of wine to a week’s holiday in a 3 bedroom luxury lodge – every single one of the donations has been extremely gratefully received. I’m still on the hunt for more prizes as I’ve decided to split them up into the main raffle and a sort of ‘lucky dip’. The main raffle draw will include the big prizes and the lucky dip – which can be set-up sort of like a tombola stall – will include the smaller gifts. That’s the plan at the moment anyway! So, if you’re reading this and you live within travelling distance of Stirling, and you’re at a loose end on Friday the 18th of May, why don’t you come along to The Golden Lion Hotel for what promises to be a great night of live music – with a wee buffet, a bar, great raffle prizes and a dance floor all thrown in for good measure. And, simply by buying a ticket and coming along, you’ll be supporting a fantastic charity that supports so many people in its local community. If you’d like more information, here’s the link to the public event page. I’d love to see you there as, hopefully, it'll be an evening full of feel-good moments.

Reaching the half way mark

Friday, I’m sure, would’ve been a sad day for many of my fellow World of Difference winners as it would’ve been the final day of their placement. We were all given the option of working for 2 months full-time or for 4 months part-time and, as we’ve now reached the 2 month stage, it marks the end of some of the winners’ World of Difference journey.

I’m working part-time so have reached the half-way mark and I’m delighted that I still have another 2 months to go! Things on the ‘coal-face’ are going really well with the project; patients are clearly benefitting from such things as having their own music on tap in the hospice, chatting about music and the memories it evokes, and watching musicians and singers perform. I’m also progressing well with organising the fundraising music night, though that’s all being done in my spare time and not under the auspice of the hospice! I’ve hit a few stumbling blocks with some aspects of the project, but I think that probably comes with the territory.

So, the next couple of months will be all about doing more of the same – using music to benefit the patients and wider Strathcarron community – and making sure that everything I’ve set up (and have still to set up) is sustainable. The second half of my placement is going to be just as busy and full-on as the first; I still consider it an incredible privilege to have been given the opportunity to carry out this work and I intend to carry on doing my best to ‘make a difference’ with every hour I spend amongst the lovely staff and patients at Strathcarron Hospice.

A bit of culture

I thoroughly enjoyed my ‘bit of culture’ at Paisley Abbey last night. I’m a complete numpty when it comes to ‘real’ choral stuff, so it was good to get a bit of an education last night. As you’ll have gathered from yesterday’s post, I didn’t even realise that Szymanowski was a composer!

I learned that Berlioz was an agnostic but he wrote ‘Te Deum’  in 1849 as a hymn of praise. It’s kind of weird, if you ask me, that someone who was so sceptical about the existence of God should write a hymn to praise the big guy up in the sky! And, I learned that Szymanowski wrote ‘Stabat Mater’ in 1925 using lyrics based on a 13^th century poem which tells the story of the anguish of Jesus’s mum as she watched him being crucified.  

The City of Glasgow Chorus, The Glasgow Youth Choir and The Orchestra of Scottish Opera performed both pieces beautifully and - even though I’m a complete heathen - I found them really moving. A combination of the setting (the gorgeous Paisley Abbey),  seeing one of our choir buddies in amongst such a prestigious group of singers, the beautiful voices  and the company of my lovely mum and the lovely Christine all combined to make it a really great evening.

Here’s a wee piece of Te Deum ('Judex crederis' - get me!); it's not the City of Glasgow Chorus, but I can assure you that they sang it just as beautifully as this crew from You tube:

A lovely, varied weekend

It’s nearly half way through the weekend and it’s shaping up to be a good one. Last night was spent having a thoroughly lovely time at a night of ‘Moroccan Madness’. One of my good friends, Sue, is part of a group who are going off to climb the Toubkal Mountain in North Africa in an effort to raise funds for the NSPCC’s ‘Building Better Futures’ campaign. Unlike some other extreme fundraising ventures, the girls have saved to pay for all of their expenses out of their own pockets – so every single penny raised goes straight to the charity. I’m always a bit wary about donating to fundraising events that involve flying off somewhere exotic to take part in some extreme adventure or another and I always like to make sure that the donated money is going to the cause, rather than paying for the flights. Happily, that's definitely the case with Sue’s trip and her and her friends have been working extremely hard, not only to raise awareness of the cause but also in training for the trek. I went along with my pal Julie and we enjoyed an evening of lovely Moroccan food in a great atmosphere, with a good fun auction and a bit of belly-dancing thrown in for good measure! Lots of lovely wine was also flowing, but I’m glad I was sensible and stuck to the soft drinks as I had an early rise this morning. 

Today was the inaugural St Andrews Park Run, so two of the Milne boys (and their number one supporter) headed off for Fife at silly o’clock this morning. (Poor Gordon would've liked to run too, but looming Highers took priority!) I’ve mentioned the Park Run initiative in previous posts and I still think the whole concept is brilliant. Volunteers organise the events - which are basically  5k races round some park or another every Saturday morning - and they’re springing up all over the UK. The St Andrews event is being staged in Craigtoun Park and, aw man, what memories came flooding back as we walked from the car to where the runners were gathering! Passed the big white castle in the middle of the boating lake (it looked a lot smaller than I remember) and over the miniature railway level-crossing (it definitely looked a lot smaller than I remember), on passed where the trampolines used to be (probably removed for health and safety reasons, tsk) and on towards the cafe (which was shut, but looked much the same from the outside as I remember it!) Alex and I took Gemma to the park when she was just a baby, about 20 years ago, but the memories today were stirred from my own childhood. Caravan holidays at Kinkell Braes Caravan Park - or visits to my relatives in Dundee - with the added bonus of a trip to Craigtoun Park for a bounce on the trampolines, a ride on the wee train and a shot on the boats. Happy, happy days. 

And today was a happy one too as I got to watch Ross win the very first St Andrews Park Run , with the added bonus of seeing his auld dad coming in second! Aye, there’s definitely life in the old dog yet! Gemma had been working at the hotel last night and didn’t finish till the back of 4am; she’s got pretty important exams coming up so catching up on some sleep this morning had to take priority over a trip to the park! However, it was just great to meet up with her later in St Andrews to enjoy a long lazy chatty brunch before the boys and I headed home. 

Tonight I’m off to a concert in the beautiful Paisley Abbey with my mum and my choir buddy, Christine. One of our other friends from choir, Mair, is singing with the Glasgow City Chorus; so, we’re off for a bit of culture! The concert is ‘Berlioz - Te Deum, Szymanowski - Stabat Mater’. Which is double Dutch to me. Well, I know the composer is Berlioz but, ocht, I’m just looking forward going along and taking as it comes!  

Tomorrow Alex’s running in the Balfron 10k - so a bit more of standing cheering out in the rain beckons. It’s also the London Marathon and some of our good friends from Central AC are running; with one of the nicest young blokes in our club – Lewis Millar – taking one of the coveted ‘Elite’ spots. Go on Lewis! 

So, I’m having a lovely, diverse weekend; a bit of belly-dancing, a bit of catch-up with good friends, a bit of good running action, a bit of special family time and a bit of culture. And, of course,  a lot going on to make me feel good.

Realising that it's not all about ticking boxes...

Every day I arrive at the hospice with a list in my diary of ‘Things to do’. I don’t think I’ve once managed to tick off even half the items on the list! Now, that’s not because I’m sitting on my ass all day; it’s simply because things rarely go to plan! This is a potted version of what my list looked like by the end of the other day:

Buy big plastic boxes – √

The containers I’ve been using for the MP3 players etc at the patients’ bedsides are too small. I left home earlier than usual and took a detour to Tesco on the way to work. The boxes have to be approved by the Ward Manager then properly labelled before they can be used……

Visit Patient 1 – X

Tried throughout the day but patient was either sleeping or being attended to by medical staff every time I was in the ward.

Visit Patient 2 – √

Spent some time with this patient, whom I’d first visited over 2 weeks ago. We’ve had some lovely chats about thier favourite music and their special songs. Sadly, their condition had deteriorated over the weekend.

Visit Patient 3 – X

Patient was sleeping every time I visited ward, but I did manage to spend a good bit of time with the patient’s partner. Was nice to have feedback on how comforting both the patient and the family were finding the personal playlist.

Attend Home Care meeting – √

Gave a short presentation. Seemed to go well and project was met with enthusiasm and some great suggestions.

See Director of Operations re adaptors for bathrooms – X

First refurbished bathroom is almost complete. Need to test out the cable and adaptor so that patients can listen to their own music while in the bath. DoO was busy in meetings all day.

See IT Manager re laptop I’m hoping to donate – X

Met briefly in corridor between meetings, but not long enough for proper chat.

Write up cross care notes – X

Ran out of time and had problems getting access to a hospice computer. The office that I work from in Strathcarron is small and very busy. The Patient and Family Support Team staff, quite rightly, take priority as far as space and access to computers is concerned, and there isn’t enough space for me to have my own desk. Sometimes it’s easier for the team if I bail out and find somewhere else in the hospice to work from, sometimes using my own laptop. That’s not a problem at all, but I do waste a bit too much time just finding a suitable place to park myself and all my gear!

Update music player log – X

Ran out of time

Drop in session – √/X

Did hold session but didn’t see many members of staff. However, I made good use of time by updating the music library.

Reply to emails – √/X

Two out of an intended ten.

Phone calls – X

Ran out of time

Added extras:

1. Was asked to visit Patient 4 by member of nursing staff. Had good chat, downloaded long list of music onto MP3 player, gave player to patient and demonstrated how to use it.

2. Was asked to visit Patient 5 by Occupational Therapist. After a brief chat, spent a while trying to put one of their audio books onto MP3 player without success. Nearly threw computer out of the window. Will consult IT experts (ie my kids) and hopefully return with player duly loaded up with book. Did manage to compile a list of favourite songs and leave that with the patient.

3. A hug from the lovely Frank Curran!

So, it was a day of ups and downs and – as with most days at the hospice – I didn’t manage to tick everything off my list. However, this placement isn’t all about ticking boxes and – as with most days at the hospice – I came away feeling satisfied that I’d made the very most of the time that I had available. I drove home, made a cup of tea, opened my diary at tomorrow’s date and wrote: ‘Things to do…..’

Finding a wonderful illustration of the power of music

Some of my Facebook friends have pointed me in the direction of a couple of video clips that’ve been doing the rounds recently. I absolutely love them! They kind of sum up what the very essence of my project at the hospice is all about. The people in the clip aren’t typical of the patients that I’ve been working with at the hospice as they’re elderly residents in an American nursing home; but the principle of using music to help reduce anxiety as well as ‘awaken’ emotions, memories and that very basic ‘feel-good’ factor is very much the same. Parts of the script could’ve been lifted straight from my original pitch to the hospice and the Vodafone Foundation!

I’ve read a lot about the ‘quickening art’ of music, but this is a really lovely illustration of that art in action. It’s at the very heart of what my project is all about; using music – sometimes in its most basic form – as a therapeutic tool to make a difference to the lives of Strathcarron’s very special patients. I hope you enjoy the clips as much as I did:

Learning all the time

One of the things I’m enjoying most about my placement is the opportunity to meet some really lovely people. The evening that Leah came in to the ward to sing, I was aware of one visitor in particular who was clearly appreciating Leah’s lovely voice – and clearly enjoying singing along! I wasn’t properly introduced to Frank till the next day. I was heading out of the ward, after helping one of the patients set up a playlist of her favourite songs, and bumped into Frank in the doorway. After complimenting Leah he told me that he had a lifetime’s experience of entertaining people with his music. It turns out that Frank has his own Big Band and, after I briefly explained that I was trying to introduce more in the way of music to the hospice he, without hesitation, offered to come in to play for the patients.

And play he did! Along with two of his band members, Frank gave up his own free time to entertain the day care patients, their visitors and some of the staff yesterday afternoon. A few of the patients from the ward managed to come along too, and I’m pretty sure that that alone made Frank’s day. His form of entertainment was very different from that of the school pupils – and neither will have been to everyone’s taste – but it was clear that many in the appreciative audience really enjoyed the visit from The Frank Curran Trio!

I’m learning all the time during my placement and one of the things I learned yesterday was to be a wee bit more careful about the volume when musicians are in the hospice performing! Frank had brought along a full kit of amps, microphones, drums, keyboard and bass guitar so the music was pretty loud. That was totally my fault though and certainly no reflection on Frank and his friends. Anyway, it turns out that there was a rather important committee meeting going on in an adjoining room and I gather it was, em, interesting for them to have Matt Munro and Nat King Cole classics belting out in the background! Ocht well, hopefully no harm done and hopefully I’ll be allowed back to Day Care with more performers soon. Possibly some that are just as talented as Frank’s trio, but maybe just a little bit quieter….!

The lovely Frank Curran

A hug from a favourite SAM

I’ve shed a fair few tears over the course of this past couple of days. There are a fair few reasons for those tears, but the main one is the emotional turmoil that's come hand-in-hand with the decision I made to give up my role as a Samaritan.

It’s not a decision I’ve made lightly; I’ve mulled over it for the past few weeks and I’m now content that it was the right decision to make. I’ve been struggling a lot with time recently and I’ve been feeling that some of the things I was committed to weren’t getting the due care and attention they deserved. I don’t feel right about listing all of the reasons why my role as a SAM was the thing that I, eventually, chose to give up. Suffice to say it wasn’t an easy decision and I sincerely hope to return to the organisation sometime in the future. I’m still just as passionate about trying to help people, and their families, who are affected by suicide or suicidal thoughts (have I mentioned that suicide is the biggest killer of young men under the age of 35 in the UK?), but I won’t be doing it as a SAM for the foreseeable future.

I’ve been totally overwhelmed by the lovely, and very touching, messages I’ve been receiving from my fellow SAMS (hence the fair few tears!) and their kind words have really brought it home to me just how much I’m going to miss sharing their company on weekly shifts. Quiet shifts presented a great opportunity to get to know your fellow on-duty SAM, and one of the biggest perks of being a Samaritan volunteer is having access to a bucket-load of compassionate and attentive colleagues to share your worries with – in complete confidence! I’ve met some truly amazing and inspirational people in that wee Falkirk branch office and it was just lovely to see one of them sitting out in the reception area at the hospice this morning! Margaret has been volunteering as a Samaritan for many, many years and I thoroughly enjoyed our shifts together. She’s the first to admit that she’s straight-talking and she's certainly never slow in giving her very experienced opinion – and sometimes in no uncertain terms! I remember one of my first shifts with her. About half way through the shift, I lifted the phone off the hook and told her that I was just nipping to the loo:

“Ocht, that would never have happened in the old days!”, she quipped.

“What would never have happened in the old days Margaret?”, I asked, with my legs crossed.

“We used to do much longer shifts and we always made sure we went to the toilet before we started on duty. We just wouldn’t have taken the phone off the hook for a wee thing like going to the toilet!”

“But we’re allowed to do that Margaret; I remember it from training. And, I’m bursting...”

“Well on you go then! I’m not saying don’t go, I’m just saying you should’ve gone before you started your shift!”

I smiled as I nipped into the loo, thinking about all the times I’ve said to my kids over the years, “Make sure you go to the toilet before we leave/take our seats/get in the car/get on the plane....”.

That was just one little pearl of wisdom that Margaret offered me; there were many more (mostly on a more serious note than this) and I’ll treasure them all. It was just so lovely to see her this morning and share a hug. She was in the hospice to buy tickets for a fundraising event and was telling me that she spent some time yesterday morning reading my wee blog from start to finish! That just about sums up her stamina and dedication to any task in hand!

She tells me that she’s going to keep up with my blog from now on so, Margaret, I salute you! You’re an absolute treasure and I’ll miss you loads. And, I promise, no matter what lies ahead and in whatever role I find myself in in the future; I’ll always make sure I go to the loo before I start...........

Getting the first month under my belt

Well, that’s the first month of my placement done. The time’s flown by but I’m really pleased with everything that’s been achieved so far. I’m loving working at Strathcarron and I know already that I’ll be gutted come the end of June. Never mind; I’ll just have to make the most of every minute of the remaining 3 months! I’m really pleased with everything I’ve managed to cram in so far; I’ve raised a fair amount of money (with more to come) and I’m delighted that the project is making a difference to some of the patient’s lives.

One particular patient that I’ve visited several times over the course of this past week has particularly benefited from having the MP3 player by their bedside. Insomnia is a common problem but it’s one that can be improved, for some patients, by having music of their choosing on tap throughout the night. Not only has this patient been managing to sleep better, they’ve also been enjoying sharing their love of a particular type of music with some of the other patients on the ward during the day. It turns out that the little speakers, bought with some of the funds raised through the music quizzes, have been useful on the ward as well as in the private rooms!

Another patient – who finds it difficult to communicate – seems to enjoy not only listening to playlists of their favourite kind of songs, but also the time we spend using music as a catalyst to open up a dialogue.

Some of the patients who don’t particularly like music are still benefitting from having access to the music players. I’ve ripped a whole load of the hospice’s relaxation CDs onto the MP3 players and some of the patients are simply enjoying not having to change the disc in the CD player. They can listen to one CD after another without any interruptions; so, the sounds of the sea can follow seamlessly on from the sounds of the Complimentary Therapist’s soft voice talking through specific relaxation techniques. A patient told me yesterday that they’d listened to over two hours of their ‘Relaxation’ playlist the previous night and had “just felt transported out of themselves for a wee while”.

Feedback such as that, to a simple “Ocht, that fair cheered me up dear!” from one of the Day Care patients (after watching a performance by a lovely group of Stirling High School pupils last week), is giving me a clear signal that the project is making a difference to some of the patients. And, now that I’ve got things properly off the ground – and most of the boring ‘preparation’ work is done – I’m thoroughly enjoying this phase of my placement. Spending a lot more time with the patients, using the therapeutic effects of music in many different ways, liaising more with the staff and starting to think more about leaving a sustainable set of practices in place when my placement’s finished are all at the very heart of what my work at the hospice is all about. And I’m just loving that work. I’m also in the throes of organising a fundraising social night, but I’m doing all of that in my own time.

I think it’s worth mentioning here that I’m just a very tiny cog in the massive wheel of everything that makes Strathcarron the special place that it is. The medical, social work, admin, fundraising, management, IT, education, physiotherapy – and many more – departments are there doing things, day in day out, that consistently make a tangible difference to patient’s lives. I’m humbled by many of these amazing people and am determined not to lose sight of the fact that my project is just one of many that have passed through the hospice’s doors over the years. Making sure that my activities in the hospice, and whatever I leave behind, work hand-in-hand with the staff and volunteers is something that I consider to be vitally important.

Something else I’m hoping to achieve with the project is to help with the building of bridges between local schools and the hospice. So, as I mentioned before, I arranged for a group of pupils from Stirling High School to come in to the Day Care unit last week to perform for a small group of elderly patients. I started with my own kids’ school, simply because I’m familiar with it (and because I know that the music department is fantastic!). My daughter Gemma happened to be in helping out at the hospice for the first time that day (and it also happened to be the day that my Mum volunteers! It was a three generation take-over!) as she’s home on holiday from Uni at the moment. I loved that Gemma was at Strathcarron the same day that Pat Scullion, her old Head Teacher, was visiting! Pat couldn’t have been more enthusiastic about the idea of bringing pupils along to perform for patients …and perform they did – brilliantly! Here’s just one of the many highlights:



Few of the pupils had any idea what Strathcarron is all about, and neither really did Mrs Scullion. I’ve mentioned in a previous post that it’s a challenge for the hospice movement in general to raise awareness of the fact that hospices are not dark, dreary places full of ‘people at death’s door’ (as someone rather tactlessly said to me recently). Hopefully the pupils – and their head teacher – will all have gone home that night and started to spread the word to their friends and families that the hospice is a lovely, friendly place to be. (The pupils have also seen exactly where their hard-earned fundraising money will go – which can be no bad thing for a charity which has to raise over £3.5 million each year!) In return, the patients benefitted from a feast of young talent that really did ‘fair cheer them up!’ It’s a win-win situation – and one that I’m really keen to facilitate more often. I just need to find some more hours in each day and I’ll be laughing…..!!

Here’s another of the talented pupils doing his thing for the small, but extremely appreciative, audience:

My kids

It’s ages since I last wrote a post for my own wee blog that hasn’t simply been copied and pasted from my Vodafone placement blog. However, I’ve been sitting out in the sun for a wee while this afternoon (yes, you did read that right; sitting out in the sun, in Scotland, in March...) as I had an early finish at the hospice and chilling out at home has somehow put me right in the mood for jotting down a quick wee spiel here.

The house is busy, loud and lively at the moment! Gemma and Ross are both back from Uni for the Easter holidays and, aw man, it’s brilliant! I love it when the kids are all about; they’re obviously not in the house all the time, but they come home after they’ve been out, and that’s just great. It’s especially great when the three of them have been out together and I love that Gemma, Ross and Gordon are such good pals.

Last weekend me and Gordon were singing at a CHAS fundraising lunch in the conservatory at Airth Castle. I was supposed to be joining some of my choir friends at the lunch itself but I’d, unfortunately, eaten a dodgy prawn the night before. (I did have a fair few glasses of wine too, but I’m positive it was the prawn that did it. Alex and the kids may well beg to differ, but it’s my blog and I’ll say what I want to...). I missed the lunch but it would take more than a dodgy prawn to make me miss out on singing with the choir! Gemma and Ross ran us through to Airth then went off for a pint in a local beer garden while we were singing. It was a really lovely event - organised by popular choir member Elaine Smith - and it was just great to be back doing a wee gig again. That was the first since Falkirk Town Hall and I didn’t realise how much I’d missed putting on a red top! When the gig was done, Gemma and Ross picked us up and we headed back to Stirling to meet up with Alex at the cinema. I was still feeling a bit fragile, so Alex and I decided to have a quiet afternoon out in the garden. Before we left, I stood and watched the kids as they wandered off across the car park full of chit-chat. I couldn’t help it; I had to do that embarrassing mother thing of shouting at them to stop so’s I could take a quick photo. Ocht, it was one of those wee moments that I just had to capture:

They do, of course, sometimes argue and they do, of course, sometimes bug each other, but they very rarely fall out. I hardly ever see my brother, and we never really know much about what’s going on in each other’s lives. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to be the case for the Milne crew – and that makes me feel really good.

....and I've just noticed the message on Gemma's top in the photo. Couldn't be more apt!!

Being in the right place at the right time

Sometimes you find yourself in just the right place at just the right time. And that was definitely the case for me and Leah recently. Leah happens to be at school with my son and her mum happens to be a member of the nursing staff at Strathcarron. I’ve heard Leah sing at various school performances over the years, so I happen to know that Leah has a beautiful voice! So, I was delighted when she agreed to come along to the hospice and sing for the patients on the ward one evening last week.

The ‘ward’ at Strathcarron is made up of several single rooms and a few four-bedded rooms with open spaces in between. So, singing in the ward involved moving around, finding the most suitable spots for the patients, their visitors and the staff and, well, singing. No big fanfare, no big audience, no accompaniment, just Leah and her lovely voice. We visited some of the single rooms – where Leah sang for patients on their own or for patients and their visitors – or we stood in the open spaces and Leah just let her voice travel through the ward. It really was just lovely.

And, for one particular family, we happened to be in just the right place at just the right time. They asked me if Leah could sing an especially meaningful song at a particularly meaningful moment and - even though Leah wasn’t sure of the words or the tune - she managed to find the song on the internet on her phone then stood and sang it beautifully. It’s a moment I’ll never forget; knowing that a family were deeply touched by Leah’s song, watching such a young girl conduct herself with such maturity and compassion and feeling humbled and reminded that this placement is about so much more than just the music.

Here's Leah early on in the evening:

Adding value and being valued

I’m aware that I’ve not really told you much about Strathcarron Hospice itself, so I guess now’s as good a time as any! For the full picture, the Strathcarron website is excellent; there’s really far too much to the hospice for me to get across in my wee blog post. Instead, this is just my very general impression of what this very special place is all about:

I grew up in Cumbernauld and the hospice was (and still is) a popular choice for fundraising events in the local community (such as sponsored walks with the Brownies or sponsored silences in class). When I was in my early twenties, I moved from Glasgow to Stirling and Strathcarron was (and still is) a popular choice for fundraising events in the local community (such as a 10k road race or a Ladies Lunch). My mum was a District Nurse and cared for many patients in the community who’d also received different forms of care from Strathcarron. My mum’s retired now, but has been volunteering at Strathcarron for over 12 years.

So, ‘Strathcarron Hospice’ is a name that I’ve grown up with and a name that has always been very familiar to me. But, until I started volunteering there myself – when I was in my forties – I didn’t have a Scooby what Strathcarron was actually all about! I imagined it to be a depressing, slightly eerie place – like a hospital with its lights dimmed – where people simply went off quietly to to die. And I don’t imagine that I’m the only person who’s ever imagined that about their local hospice.

Well, nothing could be further from the truth. For a start, it looks nothing like a hospital. You walk through the front door – from the gorgeous grounds – to a beautifully decorated, modern reception area and are greeted by a cheery volunteer sitting behind the desk and an even cheerier ‘employed’ receptionist. And that kind of sets the scene for everything else about Strathcarron: the staff and volunteers are warm and welcoming; the physical surroundings are light and bright; the wards and single rooms – although all geared up for the best possible patient care with some similar equipment to that which you’d find in a hospital – are cosy and homely; the patients mostly wear their clothes and not their jammies; nobody wears a white coat; and it’s probably one of the friendliest places I’ve ever had the privilege of spending time in. It provides a positively enriching environment, not only for its patients but for their families, visitors, and the staff alike.

Strathcarron is a place where adults – of all ages – with life limiting illness (such as cancer, neurological disease, respiratory and heart conditions) go, but it’s certainly not a scary place and it’s definitely not a place where people only go to to die. In fact, over 40% of patients go home from the hospice after having benefited from the specialist support, in such things as pain control and emotional distress, that Strathcarron has to offer. And, the majority of Strathcarron’s patients are treated at home or in the community. The list of services the hospice provides is endless, and best delved into on the website. I think the main point I’d like to get across is that Strathcarron offers so much more to its local community than a caring, specialist environment for its patients. It reaches out to the families of those patients and caters for their needs – be that in helping them with practical or emotional issues – it also reaches out to clinicians and other caring professions outwith the hospice environment and educates them in a vast range of topics surrounding life-limiting illness, it reaches out to schools and educates staff about the special needs of some of their pupils who might have lost someone close to them, it reaches out to Universities and local hospitals and helps with research projects and palliative care training, and it reaches out and enhances the lives of hundreds of people in the local area who benefit from all that volunteering at Strathcarron has to offer.

As the website says: “ Hospice is not a place, it is a philosophy of care that values each individual..”. Giving value to people’s lives – no matter whether they’re being treated at the Lymphodoema clinic, receiving emotional or practical support from the Patient and Family Services team, being treated at home by one of the Clinical Nurse Specialists, attending the day care hospice for specialist treatment (or just for the banter with fellow patients), benefiting from one of the many complementary therapies on offer, having improved mobility after a session with the physiotherapist, being able to go home after help from the Occupational therapist or, indeed, receiving the gentlest of palliative care in the last few days of life – that’s really what Strathcarron’s all about; valuing people’s lives. No matter what stage those people are at in their life.

Ocht, there’s so much more to it than that – but I think I’ll leave it at that and encourage you to check out the website for lots more information. It really is an amazing place, and I had another great day there today.

It may sound like a bit of a cliche, the old volunteer’s mantra; “I’m getting lots more out of this than I’m putting in“, but it really is true! Today was a case in point for me when I handed over my first music player to a patient. After spending a good bit of time last Friday, listening to them chat about their favourite music, I’d loaded up the Walkman with a bucket-load of their special songs. It was so rewarding to see the smile that spread across the patient’s face this morning when they pressed ‘play’ and heard their favourite Scottish fiddle music drifting out through their headphones. I know it sounds like such a simple thing, but it was another lovely moment where I was lucky enough to witness my project making a bit of a difference to someone’s day. And that certainly felt good!

Getting my poster just right

I’d hoped to organise a fundraising ‘sit down and appreciate’ concert during my placement, but I’ve opted instead for more of a social event; an evening of live music with a buffet and dance floor thrown in! The venue’s booked (a large ballroom in a local hotel), the live music line-up’s been arranged and I’ve made a start on asking for raffle prize donations.

So, I spent about 4 hours in front of my computer last weekend trying my best to design a poster for the event. Much of that time was spent swearing at my laptop; I’m absolutely hopeless at that kind of thing. However, I eventually produced something that resembled a poster and was so chuffed with the result that I stuck it up on our fridge door. My two eldest children were home for a visit from their respective Universities at the weekend and, as per usual on their arrival, we were all gathered in the kitchen blethering and catching up: “What d’you think then kids?”, I asked my 20, 18 and 16 year olds. A very long pause was followed by “Yeh, em, it’s, em, it’s really good Mum. Well done!” Another long pause was followed by, “I could always give you a wee hand with it Mum…” Humph. However, a wee while later, my daughter produced this for me:

I’m delighted with it. Next, I need to think about designing and printing off tickets for the event……..wonder if Gemma’s got any free time on her hands this week….?!

Listening to the bloody brilliant John Boos playing for a patient

I just couldn’t think of another title for this post that better summed up how I felt as I left work at 5pm tonight. As I’ve said before, much of my time so far has been spent preparing the groundwork for actually working directly with the patients, but last Friday a member of the medical team suggested a patient that might benefit from a chat with me and asked if I would see them fairly soon. I was more than happy to do that and visited the patient later on that morning. As a result, I feel that I really properly got my placement off the ground on Friday and started doing what I’ve been really looking forward to doing most at the hospice; giving patients time to talk, using music as a catalyst, and hopefully finding some way of helping them as a result of our chat. Now, I obviously can’t go into any details, but I can tell you that the person desperately misses playing their beloved guitar. After discussing whether or not they would find it too upsetting to listen to a guitar being played, the patient was delighted when I suggested that I’d try to arrange for a guitarist to come into Strathcarron to play for them.

I contacted a friend of a friend, someone whom I’ve seen perform live locally and know is amazing on guitar, and asked if he would consider giving up a bit of his time to play for the patient. The result was that this afternoon the lovely John Boos sat on a chair at the side of my first ‘placement patient’s' bed and, amongst other things, played this:



A difference was made to that patient’s day by John’s generosity in giving up his time and by his incredible musical talent – and that made me feel, as I headed off for home, bloody brilliant!

One week down already

I've not come up with a solution that I'm happy with for this two-blog lark. I don't have time to write two separate blog posts all the time so, in the meantime, I'm just going to keep on duplicating what I've written on the World of Difference blog here (rather than post links). In between, I'm aiming to keep on writing posts about other things that are on my mind or are making me feel good in a day; I've just not had the time to do that as yet! So, here's my latest placement post:

Nearly a week has passed since I officially started my placement, but I’ve crammed so much in that I feel as though I’ve been there for much longer! Much of my time has been spent being introduced to staff, familiarising myself with ward etiquette, spending sooo much time investigating the legal side of sharing music files and storing copies of music, in meetings, on the phone or on the computer. But, it’s all been really productive and, although I’ve not had the opportunity as yet to spend much time with the patients, the ground work has been well and truly laid.

I’m delighted with the deal struck with The Sony Centre to supply the MP3 players at a very reasonable price and I’m looking forward to collecting the first 10 Walkmans on Friday. I’ve opted for Sony Walkmans for various different reasons but mainly because they’re not touch-screen (so easier for the patients to handle), they’re quite chunky and they’re so much cheaper than ipods. (Except for the ipod shuffle, but that’s no good as the patients can’t see their playlist or choose specific songs). I’m also hoping to pick up docking stations, along with some other accessories. Nothing is being rushed into as I want to make sure that every pound is well-spent and that not one of the pennies that people have so generously donated is wasted.

So, soon I’ll really be getting the project off the ground by spending time with some of the patients; chatting to them about their favourite music, or songs that mean something to them, and compiling personal playlists for them. I’m so looking forward to that. I’ve been touched by the reaction of the staff to the whole concept and I’m fair excited about the opportunity to liase with them when they feel that specific patients would benefit in more specific ways from the therapeutic effects of music.

I’ve arranged a meeting next week with the rector of one of the local high schools as I’m keen to bring school choirs and musicians into the daycare area - and the ward where appropriate – as soon as possible. I’m aiming to use this project as an opportunity to raise awareness in the wider community that hospices aren’t scary places. So, not only will the patients benefit from being entertained by the kids, the pupils will benefit by gaining a much better understanding of what the hospice is really all about. I’m also excited about the prospect of some members of my choir performing for the patients – there’s such a wealth of talent in Heart of Scotland and I’m hoping to tap in to it shamelessly!

An aspect of my project that’ll require a lot of funding is the provision of cameras and a system to enable ‘broadcasting’ of live performances; I’ve not got a clue what sort of money’s involved as yet, but I’ve set the ball rolling by fixing up a meeting for next week with a technical expert to give me some ideas.

So, plenty to be getting on with! Next post I’ll tell you a bit more about the hospice itself. For now though, bed methinks!

The Winner!

I’ve been selling music quiz sheets for the past few weeks to help raise money towards buying equipment for my Myriad of Music project. I’ve been overwhelmed by the response and, after hoping for a couple of hundred pounds to get me started, I’ve managed to raise over £1000! I’m coninuing to fundraising for the duration of my placement, as much of what I acheive in the hospice will depend on how much money I can pull in.

Anyway, back to the quiz sheets. Entries closed last week and tonight at my choir practice I asked Annie, our choir leader, to pull one of the ‘top marks’ entries out of a bag. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the name on the winning sheet – Linda Sterry; my friend that I wrote about in my last post, the same friend that inspired me to apply for this placement!! I’m absolutely delighted that she won – and I’m relieved that a full choir were witness to the fairness of the draw!!

For any of the readers of my blog who entered the quiz, the answers can be found on my JustGiving page.

A dedication to the wee boy who made it all happen

I wouldn’t be familiar with the World of Difference Scheme, let alone be working on a placement funded by them, if it wasn’t for Linda. We met just over a year ago, when we started Module One of the COSCA Counselling Certificate together. Round about the same time, Linda was announced as one of the WoD winners, with her chosen charity being The Scottish Cot Death Trust. Linda chose The SCDT as she’d experienced, first hand, just how vitally important the support that this small organisation offers is. In Linda’s own words, from one of her own early blog posts on this site:

“my son died suddenly and unexpectedly aged two, no illness no warning, one day he was running around softplay, painting with his brother and friends the next day he had died. It IS every parent’s worst nightmare and it is one I have been living with for the last two years. But I guess my point is that the reason I am here is that I am inspired by my son’s strength of character, lust for life and the imprint he made on so many people (some who knew him, some who didn’t) in just two tiny years that it has made me take life by the horns and aim to do something meaningful… Gregor is without doubt my inspiration for being here today and wanting and needing to ‘make a difference’”

Today would’ve been Gregor’s 5th birthday. I, unfortunately, never had the pleasure of meeting him – but I do feel as if I know him as the essence of Gregor is kept very much alive by Linda, her husband and her other son Ben (whom I adore!). And what better example of that is this; Linda and Ben baked a cake for Gregor’s birthday! Isn’t it awesome:

So, I just want to take this opportunity to say a special Happy Birthday to Gregor. A great wee lad who inspired his mum to do something positive for other people, and whose mum, in turn, inspired me to have a go too. Our chosen charities are pretty different, but our objectives are pretty much the same – to do something meaningful and, of course, to make a difference.

Singing staff!

I’ve found my first act to perform for the patients at the hospice! There we were this morning, me and Kirsty (my line manager), working away on our computers in the office, when we were interrupted by a knock on the office door.

“We’ve come to sing for you!”

Next thing, the door burst open and in piled a bunch of the ladies from the kitchen – all of whom I’d met for the first time yesterday.

“We just think this music thing’s a great idea, so we’re here to show you what we can do!”

Aw man, it was absolutely brilliant! And, those lovely ladies totally summed up the spirit in which – I’m delighted to say – my project’s been welcomed by the staff at Strathcarron. Enjoy!

Wearing a new badge

Well, today I worked at the hospice for the first time wearing this badge:

rather than this one:

And, it felt so good!

I’ve not really gone into any detail about my placement on this blog so, before I go any further, I think I should explain what it’s all about.

When I was thinking of a project that would make a difference to the hospice, I focussed on two of the things that I like to do best; listen to music and listen to people. By doing that, my ‘Myriad of Music’ idea started to take shape. It’s pretty simple, but often the simplest ideas are the most effective, and it basically involves bringing the therapeutic effects of music to Strathcarron in as many different ways as possible.

It’s common knowledge that listening to music, or singing along, can lift our spirits and help us to relax; especially if that music is meaningful to us. So, there lies the first part of my project; I’m going to spend a bit of time with patients, asking them about their favourite music (which should be a therapeutic process in itself) then make up a personal playlist of their favourite songs, or the music that’s most meaningful to them. The patient will then be supplied with their own MP3 player – after I’ve loaded it up with their personal playlists - for the duration of their stay at Strathcarron. With the patient’s permission, the playlist could be transferred onto a CD as a special keepsake for their family.

The single rooms in the hospice will also, hopefully, be provided with docks and speakers. I say hopefully because much of this part of my project is dependent on how much money I can raise, and how many donations I can pull in. I started fundraising a few weeks ago and, again, often the simplest ideas can be surprisingly effective. I made up a music quiz sheet, set up a Just Giving page, and sold the quiz sheets for £2 a go. I’d hoped to raise a couple of hundred pounds - which would’ve been enough to get me started with a number of MP3 players and some other accessories - but I’ve been overwhelmed by the response and have managed to reach a total of £970 so far. I’ve also been given, free of charge, a brand new Walkman by a local supplier - The Sony Centre in Bridge of Allan – and I’m hopeful that this proves to be the beginning of a partnership that’ll help me put more of my Myriad of Music ideas into practice.

I’m also going to be looking into the possibility of getting music ‘piped’ into the hospice’s bathrooms. I mean, what better way to relax is there than a good soak in the Jacuzzi bath with your favourite music playing over the bubbles?! And another thing I’ll be researching is a method by which patients who can’t leave their rooms can still feel a part of the things that are going on in and around the hospice. For instance, the second part of my placement involves bringing live music into Strathcarron. There’s a lovely area in the Day Care section which lends itself beautifully to wee groups of singers or musicians performing. However, many of the patients aren’t well enough to sit in Day Care so, to make everyone feel part of the experience, I’m hoping to facilitate the provision of CCTV cameras or camcorders that could ‘broadcast’ the performance to TV screens in the patients’ rooms. The system could also be used for things like watching the wildlife outside in the hospice's beautiful grounds – in fact, I’m sure there’ll be a multitude of different uses for such a system.

But, all of this costs money so – as much as my placement is not primarily about fundraising – the last part of the project should hopefully bring in enough cash to help put some more of these ideas into practice. And, what better way to raise money than a music event featuring the best rock and soul choir in Scotland?! A venue to host the night, starring my beloved Heart of Scotland Choir, has been booked for the eighteenth of May. Now I just need to leave myself enough time to get it properly organised, along with everything else I’m hoping to achieve while I’m working at Strathcarron! Yup, it’s going to be a really busy 4 months, but I simply can’t think of a better cause to be busy for!

Juggling two blogs

Here's the link to the post I've written for my other blog tonight. I think it says all I can muster before I head off to get organised for the first day of my placement at Strathcarron tomorrow....

Feeling rubbish, but getting a job done

This is a first for me; three blog posts in one day! It's only my second post here, but part of my commitment to the Vodafone Foundation World of Difference Scheme(which awarded me the Strathcarron Hospice placement) is to write a regular blog, so I got that off the ground earlier with the first post. So, three blog posts in one day! The new blog's on the World of Difference website and is hosted by Wordpress. I've not got a clue how best to tie the two blogs together (any tips folks?!) so, for the moment, here's the link to my new wee blog!

I've been feeling rubbish all day after a sleepless night (it's just a cold, but my head feels like a burst ball!), so it feels great to have got the new blog up and running. For now though, I'm off to vegetate in front of crappy Saturday night telly with a hot drink and paracetamol.

Atishooooo!

Watching a clip from our concert

I wrote last week about the choir's concert in Falkirk Town Hall. Here's a wee video of the last two songs, and - recorded for posterity - my little thank you 'speed poem' right at the very end. (I really wish I'd blown my nose before I started...!) The three children that sing during 'Aint no Mountain' are members of the Heart of Scotland Junior Chorus; an incredibly talented bunch of kids.

Smiling from behind my hands

OK, so, I did contemplate attacking last night's post with the edit key on blogger, but I've decided to leave the post alone. It was written from a very happy heart and I've got a feeling it'll be nice to look back on in years to come!

Before I leave it behind though, I'd like to make a bit of an addition; since the post turned into a bit of an Oscars speech, I'd also like to thank my lovely wee Mum! In the same vein as last night's blurb; I'm very lucky to have her and I so appreciate her support. I should also, of course, acknowledge all the encouragement and 'just being there-ness' provided by some of my special friends - but I think it's definitely time I stopped and got off the stage!

I'm off to drink a pint of water along with a couple of hango.., I mean, headache pills. Hello new day!

A fitting end to my skills course journey - hic!

I’ve had a brilliant day today and I’m sitting here wondering if writing a blog post is such a good idea: (a) because I’m a bit - quite a big bit -drunk (b) because I don’t think I have the words to express exactly how I feel and (c) because I don’t want the blog to turn into a ‘Yeh! Go me!’ kind of thing. But, I do want to record this day in some sort of way so, stuff it, here goes:

I attended an interview recently for a place on the Postgraduate Diploma Course in Counselling at Strathclyde Uni. I’ve been checking my emails every day since, hoping to receive an acceptance, but I’ve been prepared for bad news as they only take 30 folk onto the course. The email arrived today; just as I was about to leave the house to drive to Dunblane to give a presentation to a group of students who’re just about to complete their first COSCA counselling skills module. It was perfect timing! This time last year I had no idea if I had what it takes to train to become a professional counsellor, but the certificate course was an incredible experience for me – on so many different levels – and it was, therefore, fitting that the day I’m told that I have a place on the Postgrad course is the day that I was invited back to talk to a group of new students about my certificate course experience. I’m kind of guessing that you’re thinking “what’s the big deal?”, but it was just very, very special for me. I was chuffed to bits to have been asked to give the presentation by my first tutor, Rachel. I have so much to thank her for and it was brilliant to go back after completing all four modules, along with my very special friend Linda, who’d been asked to give a presentation too. Linda and I met on the first day of the course at Dunblane, and we’ve become such close friends during this past year. Sharing today with her made the whole experience all the more poignant. It really brought it home to me how far we’ve both come and just how much we’ve achieved – not just in doing the skills course, but in many other different areas of our lives. This time last year there was absolutely no way that I could've stood up in front of a group of strangers and talked openly and passionately about my experiences. I was proud of both me and Linda for being able to do just that today.

Ocht, and it’s not just that; I’m feeling overwhelmingly proud of my kids tonight. Gordon sat his Highers prelims recently and has been receiving his results this week. It’s tough for Gordon, coming along behind his high-achieving sister and brother, but I’m really proud of his attitude. He’s had a mixed bag of results; some subjects he’s done better than he expected and some he’s done worse. But, with his usual maturity and optimism, he’s not at all fazed and, with our reassurance that we’ll be extremely proud of him – no matter what his results are – because he’s trying his best and working hard, he’s still smiling! And then there’s Gemma. Well, she’s finding her Uni work load tough - having had to step up a gear now that she’s into the Honours part of her degree - but I’m so proud of her attitude to it all too. Gemma’s always been a hard and dedicated worker, both at school and in the many ‘projects’ and jobs that she’s been involved with. Studying hard at Uni kind of fell by the wayside a wee bit in her first couple of years there, but she’s achieved so many other things in the meantime. She also works part-time (with many late night shifts) in one of the big hotels just outside St Andrews and she’s worked all summer, every summer to help pay her way. Being in an environment where she’s surrounded by students who are quite bemused by the fact that she has to work can be a wee bit challenging at times (“Don’t your Mum and Dad pay for everything?!!! How quaint that you have to work!”), but Gemma rises to that with head held high and a pride – that I’m very proud of – in her working class background. She popped home for a surprise visit the other night and it was just brilliant to coorie up on the couch for a good old blether with my wee grown up girl. She’s going to be away again working in London all summer, so I treasure every one of those moments. And then there’s Ross. Aw, I just love it when he pops home for one of his surprise visits too – I was spoiled this past week by having Ross here at the weekend and Gemma for a night during the week! I’ve been so proud of Ross’s attitude at Uni – he’s doing really well and is probably going to be exempt from all of his first year exams – and, I’m so chuffed that Ross is happy for his auld maw to be going to his Uni to do her Postgrad course! I’m not at all surprised by that attitude though; it’s typical of Ross to be considerate and caring. He never fails to amaze me with his thoughtfulness and selflessness. His - along with his big sister's and little brother's - messages of Congratulations today brought a tear to my eye and just made my heart swell. Ocht, I just love my kids and am so very proud of them all.

And, since I’m on a roll, I have to mention Alex here. I’m chuffed with all my wee achievements over the course of this past couple of years, ever since that first ‘I think I’ll give the OU a try’ moment (though they all pale into insignificance when I consider the importance of being there for my kids when they were growing up) but I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without Alex’s steady support and encouragement. I love him so much and I love that we’re still having so much fun while playing at grown-ups!

I think I’ve slavered on enough now. I’ve a feeling that this is the kind of post I’ll read in the morning from behind my hands then hastily edit. I’ve had lots of bubbly to celebrate getting the place on the Postgrad Course, so this has been written straight from a very alcohol-influenced set of fingers! It’s not something I plan to make a habit of, but I just felt so warm and fuzzy inside and I really wanted to record it on my wee blog.

I think it’s time to stop now though. Night folks! (Hic....!)

The buzz of the morning after the night before

I’m usually slow to wake up in the morning; I usually do that thing of re-setting my alarm a few times before eventually dragging myself out of bed. Once I’m up, I’m fine and tend to be a cheery morning person – it’s just the dragging myself out of bed bit that’s the problem! However this morning, with no alarm set from the night before as today’s Sunday, I woke up with a real ‘ding!!’. You know what I mean? It was as if someone flicked the ‘WAKE UP!’ switch inside my head instead of pulling down slowly on the ‘Aw ..naw.. it’s.. time.. to.. wake up..’ lever!

The fact that the sun was streaming through the bedroom window probably had a bit to do with it, but I’m sure it was more down to the fact that the adrenalin was still flowing after last night’s choir concert. What a brilliant night! It wasn’t the biggest audience we’ve played to (though, as my choir buddy Mair said, “it’s the quality of the audience that counts, not the quantity!”) but it definitely was one of our best gigs.

I’d forgotten what a nice wee venue Falkirk Town Hall is. It’s a cosy theatre, and there was just a really good ‘feel’ about the place; even before the audience arrived. And, they’ve got a fantastic sound system. I always think it must be so frustrating for Annie when we turn up at a gig and the sound arrangements aren’t geared up for our large choir and its accompanying musical instruments. The family members and friends of mine who were in the audience last night - most of whom have been to at least one of our previous concerts - all commented on how different the quality of the sound was. The choir and the band were doing the same as they always do, but when the microphones and other sound equipment are of good quality and set up properly, everything seems to pull together so much better. I guess the audience appreciate the choir and respond more when they can hear all the soloists and harmonies and instruments as they’re meant to be heard. And that must be so satisfying for Annie and Jane too – knowing that all their superb arrangements are being heard, just as they’d intended them to be heard the first time they sat down to work them out! And, as I said, the wee audience were great; whooping and cheering and clapping along.

Ocht, I’m still buzzing – you really can’t beat this feeling. I also had a tiny wee taste of how nerve-wracking it must be to take centre-stage and do a solo! Before we went on stage, Annie and Jane’s sister, Alexis, asked me if I would do the ‘Thank You’s’ at the end of the concert. “The kids are going to come on when the concert's finished and present Annie and Jane with the flowers from the choir, so you'd just need to take the mike and say a few words to thank everyone. Is that OK?”. Well, I definitely wasn’t going to say no – I was deeply touched that Alexis had asked me – but it did make me come out in a bit of a cold sweat! The only time I don’t feel really nervous when I’m speaking in front of an audience, or even a small group, is when I recite one of my poems – so, I sat at the interval and scribbled a few wee verses of thanks! It was a real test of my ability to do ‘speed poetry!’, but I managed to throw enough words together to enable me to take the mike without shaking too much in my shoes (or, to be more accurate, stocking soles) and do the necessary. It was a real privilege to be able to say a heartfelt thank you to the band and Annie and Jane - on behalf of the whole choir - in the way that I love best. Somehow it's always easier when speaking straight from the heart!

So, I’m sitting here bright eyed and bushy-tailed at 8.30 on a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning, looking out at the snow-capped hills and – once again – thanking my lucky stars for that day that Gordon said “Mum, I think I’ve found you the singing group you’ve been looking for.....”

Looking forward to a different kind of buzz from Falkirk

Usually on this day in February I’d be through in Falkirk at the National Cross Country Championships but, unfortunately, I’ve had to give it a miss this year. Alex and Ross are away through and it’ll be weird getting the text or phone call to tell me how Ross’s race has gone; usually I’m running about like a mad thing cheering him on round the course, then doing the same when Alex runs (I’m sure I cover just as many miles spectating as the runners do competing!). It’s a brilliant event; the climax to the cross country running calendar and held in the lovely grounds of Callendar House (as recorded here last year). No matter the result of the races, whether our club’s done well or not-so-well, I've always come away buzzing. I'm kind of sad to be missing it this time around.

However, I will still be buzzing after being in Falkirk later on this day this year – but for a different reason:

It somehow seems kind of fitting that the last time I was in Falkirk Town Hall was many moons ago when I took my Mum to see Gary Wilmot (Yes, I did say Gary Wilmot..!) singing a mixed bag of songs from musicals, stage shows and the charts. Before that, probably the last time I was there was to see the Christmas Pantomime as a child with my Mum and my Gran. So, I’ve got some nice memories of the place and I’m hoping to be adding to those happy memories after performing on the Falkirk Town Hall stage tonight with the choir. This is our first gig since appearing at Stirling Castle on Hogmanay, so I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve been having a last minute practice of the set list while I’ve been doing all my bits and bobs at home today and, as ever, it’s put me in a great mood and left me really looking forward to tonight. I still do that thing sometimes of stepping back and thanking my lucky stars for the night Gordon came home and said, “I think I’ve found you the singing group you’ve been looking for Mum!” Ocht, I just love being part of the Heart of Scotland Choir community!

So, if you’re planning on spending tonight stuck in front of rubbishy Saturday night telly, why don’t you come along instead to Falkirk Town Hall at 8pm and be entertained by a bunch of cheery folk dressed in red singing fantastic covers of songs by the likes of Sting, Coldplay, Queen, Primal Scream, Adele, Simon & Garfunkel and Louis Armstrong! I’m reliably informed that tickets are available to buy on the door – and I can guarantee that you’ll leave the hall with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. Yup, I'm pretty sure that everyone - whether they're a choir or audience member - will leave Falkirk Town Hall tonight feeling great!

Rehearsing (so imagine how it'll sound after a bit of practice and live!):



Our Choir Anthem!:

Soaking up the sun in my old stomping ground

I think the last time I was in The Botanic Gardens in Glasgow was at the end of my first year at Uni when I was studying for my Chemistry re-sit in 1984! It was a lovely, sunny day in July and I can remember lying on the grass - kidding myself on that I was studying, when I was actually sunbathing - and cursing myself for not having worked harder to pass the exam first time around! I was totally skint, and I can actually remember swithering about whether I should buy a double nougat from the van, or be sensible and keep every penny I had for sensible things like bread and milk! The double nougat won. Shortly after that, I moved out of my student bedsit in Kelvinside and from then on did my sunba....studying in a different West End park.

So, it was lovely to spend a wee while today sitting on a bench in The Botanic Gardens soaking up the sun. (Yes, it is February and, yes, we are talking about Scotland!) I’ve had a busy time recently, what with one thing and another, and decided to treat myself to a bit of time out with a good friend. She’s recently moved to the Kelvinside area (the posh bit, not the studenty bit where I once lived) and, after a wee donner down Queen Margaret Drive, we spent a lazy couple of hours blethering on a park-bench in the Gardens. I’ve even got a bit of sunburn on my nose!! (Yes, it is February and, yes, we are talking about Scotland!) I had a nice day, and it brought back lots of happy memories of the time I’d spent living in the Dear Green Place.

Alex and I moved through to the Stirling area, after living in Glasgow for around six years, because I’d just started a new job (which meant I’d be working mostly in the Central Belt) and Alex had just been awarded his first ‘big’ contract since becoming self-employed (to carry out large-scale restoration works at The Church of the Holy Rude in Stirling). It was a wee bit like coming home, in some ways, for Alex as his three-year masonry apprenticeship had been served at Stirling Castle, but we loved living in Glasgow and we definitely intended moving back at some time in the not-too-distant-future.

Twenty two years later we’re still here in the Stirling area! And we’ve not once considered moving back to Glasgow since settling here. But, it’s always lovely to spend some time in our old stomping ground; especially on a sunny day with an old friend. ....and especially when I’m not fretting over re-sits or wondering if I’ve got enough pennies in my pocket to pay for some pan bread....

Clearing the decks

Oh dear; my blog seems to have gone for a Burton these days! I’ve just not been finding the time recently to sit down and write. Having said that, I have been sitting down plenty – and in front of the computer – but much of that time’s been taken up with completing the final assignment for my counselling certificate course, preparing for an interview at Strathclyde Uni next Monday (eek!), preparing the presentation I’ve to give on the last day of my course next Tuesday, getting the ball rolling with fundraising for my placement at Strathcarron and keeping on top of work work. (With, of course, the odd peek at Facebook in between!) The housework’s also gone for a Burton – but I’m not so bothered about that!

I don’t officially start my placement until the beginning of March, but I’m making a start by doing a wee fundraiser so that I can purchase some of the bits and bobs that I need to help bring my project to life. I decided to keep the fundraiser simple while giving it a ‘music’ theme, so I made up a music quiz sheet (if you fancy a shot, check out my Just Giving page!) and I’ve been using Facebook, Twitter, my email contact list, my voice – ocht, basically any method I can think of to punt the idea to as many people as possible! (I’m even using my wee blog...) I’m coming to realise some of the real benefits of social networking; I know it has many drawbacks, but for raising awareness and spreading the word, I think it’s great. I’m attending the ‘World of Difference Winner’s Launch Day’ down in London at the end of this month and I couldn’t help smiling when I read that one of the talks will be on ‘effective blogging’! We’re encouraged to use blogging as a means of raising awareness of our projects and to give a bit of publicity to our chosen charities. I like to think I’m just a wee bit ahead...

So, what am I actually going to be doing at Strathcarron? Well, I’ll be spending a lot of time talking and - more importantly - listening to patients and staff to discover how best music can be utilised to benefit both the inpatients and day care patients. Then I’ll be trying to facilitate some of those suggestions. It could be something as simple as setting up regular visits from local musicians and singers, organising a fundraising concert, installing a system for music to be piped to the bathrooms or treatment rooms, or researching the different forms of professional music therapy available and sourcing long-term funding. I’ll not manage to do all of that in my four month part time placement – but I’ll be doing my best to put every minute available to me and every penny I raise to the best possible use!

Something that I will be able to do straight away is provide MP3 players and accessories, thanks to the generosity of the people who’ve already bought a quiz sheet or made a donation! The idea is that I’ll spend some time with the patient chatting about music that’s meaningful to them so that I can make up personal playlists of their ‘special songs’ to download onto an MP3 player. The patient will have their own collection of special music and songs to listen to on their ‘own’ MP3 player at anytime and anywhere in the hospice – be it in bed, in the bath (with the appropriate equipment – more funds will be required!) or walking in the lovely grounds. If the patient has given prior permission, I’ll make up a wee CD of the playlist as a special keepsake for the family.

I was delighted when the hospice staff (who I presented all my placement ideas to) were most taken with the personal playlist suggestion and that that was the thing they were most keen to see put in place. I can’t wait to get started and the first of March can’t come quick enough. In the meantime, there's a bit of deck-clearing to do with the small matter of an interview, course presentation and manky house to sort out....

Being awarded a placement at Strathcarron

I received a message last week that made me take a sharp intake of breath, then say out loud (even though I was sitting on my own at the time), “Oh My God!.....Woohooo!...... Aw, that’s so Great!.......Oh Help!....”

I think I mentioned, in a previous post, that I was waiting to hear if I’d been successful in an application I’d made for a 4 month part-time placement; well, the message I received started with “Congratulations!” and went on to say “You’ve been awarded a placement on the Vodafone World of Difference Programme.” It’s the news I was so hoping for and I’m still, one week later, over the moon - but also pretty nervous about the task ahead! I’ve not been allowed to write anything about it before now as we were asked to keep it to ourselves until the Vodafone Foundation launched its own press release. Now that I’m free to talk about it, I don’t really know where to start!

I think I’ll leave the details for another post. But, basically, the Vodafone World of Difference Scheme awards 500 placements in the UK each year to people who would like to try to ‘make a difference’ to a charity of their choice. It doesn’t cost the charity a penny and it gives people, like me, who love working for their charity but can’t afford to volunteer for more than a few hours a week, the opportunity to spend more time helping out. I had to put together a kind of ‘pitch’ for what I would like to do and I came up with a project called ‘A Myriad of Music’. I have absolutely no professional qualifications in music, in any way, shape or form, but I do know that music can make a difference to people’s lives. So, I’m hoping to introduce some new things to the Hospice that will be both therapeutic and enjoyable for the patients, and I also hope to raise some money for Strathcarron as part of the process. I'm also really hoping to involve as many people in this as possible (and am hoping for some help along the way!) as music is something that so many people can benefit from - whether it's listening to it, sharing it, performing it or talking about it.

I’ll record more of the details in my next post; I just wanted to note on my wee blog how excited, chuffed and privileged I feel to have been given this fantastic opportunity to work with the lovely staff and patients at Strathcarron. I can’t wait to get started on the 1st of March – and once I manage to get my nerves in check - I’m sure I’m going to love every minute!

Here's the video I made to go along with my application; hopefully it gives you the general gist of what I'm going to be doing.